Monday, January 29, 2007

Rex Menaced by a Giant African Millipede!



Rex, proud member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, appears a little unsettled by his latest encounter with meanacing wildlife. It's Scaphiostreptus parilis acuticonus, or the Giant African Millipede. Appropriately named for its size and continent of origin the African Millipede can grow up to twelve inches in length and enjoys the moist, decaying jungle floor as its native habitat. The "thousand legger" label is a bit of an exaggeration. With two sets of legs per segment the millipede has to settle for hundreds rather than thousands of legs.

In spite of its impressive size and general ickiness the giant millipede is a docile and slow moving herbivore. Rex is safe as long as he doesn't allow any of the repugnatorial fluid, secreted from specialized stink glands, into his eyes or mouth.

The millipede tastes nothing like chocolate.

Shangalorlors?



Waddie Gantry, one the Gantry twins out of Blackfoot, Idaho, is mighty perplexed. He got hisself some fancy new suspenders decorated with what the itinerant haberdasher called shangalorlors. Then he ordered a neckerchief from a mail order catalog that said it sported a authentic African shangalorlor design, and they don't come anywheres near matchin'.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Shangalorlors!



Waddie Gantry, one the Gantry twins out of Blackfoot, Idaho, shows off his new suspenders with the pink shangalorlor pattern. Waddie acquired these accessories from an itinerant haberdasher who let on that these was all the latest fashion in the East. Waddie don't know nothin' about shangalorlors nor care much about fashion, he's just tickled there won't be no more drafty exposure when he bends over to retrieve a branding iron.

Rex Tees Off



Rex, proud member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, drives the ball with reckless abandon. With no shortage of power, Rex is sorely lacking on the control front. It's fortunate for Rex that King, his trusted malamute--not a retriever of any kind, doesn't mind bringing the occasional ball back into play.

Singh Sings at Sing Sing



Constable Singh, of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, travels south to upstate New York with the post hockey squad where the Mounties will take on a team of New York State Prison Guards in a Police Hockey League game. The game will take place on the outdoor rink at the state prison in Ossining. Here Singh takes part in the pre-game singing of national anthems.

Cupid



Probably shouldn't let babies play with sharp pointy arrows.

Rex Menaced by a Bison!



Rex, proud member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, finds himself face to face with the largest terrestrial mammal in North America: Bison bison athabascae,(often referred to, mistakenly, as the buffalo). Reaching a height of six feet and weighing in at over 2000 pounds, Rex knows this is one bearded bovine not to be toyed with. Rex also knows that the bison's lethargic manner is deceptive and when motivated it can reach speeds just under those of the emu!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Eighties



Inspector Fitzgerald, proud member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, enjoys the occasional round of golf. His biggest challenge is recruiting three other members of the force to complete his foursome. The Inspector, who scores in the high eighties, fears he won't live long enough to shoot his age.

Monday, January 08, 2007

BoxSingh



Constable Singh, proud member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, sports breeches, braces and boxing gloves as he trains for the Regimental Pugilism Tournament. The scrappy junior flyweight weighs in at 7.5 Stone (47.6 Kilos), including hair and beard. His strategy when facing another Mountie in the ring? Go for the chin.